


Sleeping Birdy

by barryallenisravenclaw



Series: Birdflash Oneshots [6]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Gen, I Don't Even Know, dick's birthday gets crashed by some unwelcome guests, i dont know what this is, im bad at writing fight scenes so dont get your hopes up, its pretty wild, kind of weird, the dickori is mild, this is wild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-31 22:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18323054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barryallenisravenclaw/pseuds/barryallenisravenclaw
Summary: The Joker surprises everyone at Dick Grayson's birthday, and it's up to the Teen Titans to stop him! originally posted 6/12/2016 on wattpad





	1. Chapter 1

A loud crash sounded and the three Robins turned the corner, running full blast to find hiding spots before Alfred caught them. Breaking a vase was a serious crime in the Wayne household.

They didn't have time for this. Bruce was going to give his speech in a few minutes and Tim really wanted to be downstairs for it. Unfortunately, in the boys' most recent fight, Jason had broken Alfred's Favorite Vase of the Upper Western Hallway and was about to be murdered by the elderly butler. Tim couldn't believe his brothers sometimes. Damien looked like he was enjoying Tim's pain.

Tim jumped into the nearest cupboard and tried to calm his breathing as quickly as possible. Alfred was probably only a short ways down the hall by then, Tim was sure.

Then, without warning, the sound of an explosion filled the air. The three boys forgot all about their plight and ran down to the Main Ballroom.

They were too late.

Everyone in the room was frozen. Not in the Mr Freeze type of way, but more in the paused TV type of way that looks normal at first until you realise that no one is speaking a word, but they're all there and trying to scream.

"What happened?" Jason asked quietly, and Tim saw why. Bruce and Dick were sitting side by side at the front of the hall, Bruce about to introduce his oldest son and congratulate him for becoming an adult and Dick looking extremely nervous.

"The Joker happened," Damien muttered from behind Tim, making the older boys turn around.

The kid was right. There was a huge cake sitting in the centre of the room, and the outside was entirely decorated as a circus.

"Grayson must have been pissed when they wheeled this thing out," Damien said. Tim wheeled on him.

"Well, you obviously didn't know Dick very well! He always told me that his years at the circus were the best of his life."

"Not that, dimwit," Jason said. "This." He was pointing to the front of the third layer, and Tim almost fell backward when he saw it. There was a tiny trapeze on the front with a little boy standing, waiting on one of the poles for his parents to finish the routine. The parents were bloody on the "ground."

"There's a Joker card in the back," Damien added, then quickly said "it's not a bomb. I checked."

"Well," Jason said, "we have a motive at least."

"We do?" Tim asked.

"Yes, we do." Damien and Jason didn't seem to care that they had spoken at the same time, they were just dumbfounded that Tim hadn't seen what was going on yet. At Tim's continued confusion, Damien sighed and filled the older boy in. "It's all about Dick's birthday. He wanted to freak out the Families. If you attack the second Son of Gotham's coming of age bash, they'll be scared shitless even if you fail."

"Makes sense," Tim said, "but how do we fix it?"

Jason and Damien looked at each other. "No idea."

Tim sighed. "Great. Well, we can't call the Commissioner cause he and Barbara are already here, along with half the upper management of the police force. This calls for extreme action."

Jason and Damien admitted it was a good idea and the three boys made their way back down into the Batcave. What they found was little less than shocking.

The power was out.

"How could this happen?" Damien raged. "Father has three back up generators!"

"Whatever the Joker used must have killed everything on the estate," Tim reasoned. "I hate to say this, but I think we need to call in the League."

"We can't," Damien lamented, falling on the floor. "They're all off planet. Jordan needed them to fight some creature. And the phones are all connected to the estate generators."

Tim sat down on the nearest chair and sighed. He wasn't prepared for this. Dick had always been the leader of the four of them, and not just because he was the first. He just kind of commanded respect, but Tim didn't think he realized it. Jason and Damien didn't like him, much less trust him to do something as important as this. Rescue both Bruce and Dick, and Gotham's richest shmoozers? Without backup? Tim was only fifteen, he couldn't handle all this pressure.

Tim looked up to find both other Robins staring at him. He looked around and realized that he had accidentally sat in Bruce's Big Chair. But the looks on the boy's faces weren't of anger or shock, they were of grudging respect and sadness. Tim realized that they wanted him to take charge. They were letting him.

"Okay," Tim said, "first thing's first. We need to find some backup. What we really should be doing is figuring out what this is, but none of us have the scientific knowledge to do that without the Bat Computer. If the League is gone..." Tim stood up and looked to his Red Robin costume in its case. "Let's get the next best thing."


	2. Chapter 2

Wally was having a good day. He didn't have any homework, he hadn't been completely rejected (he still didn't have a date, but no one had cussed him out or thrown wine in his face so Wally took them down as maybes), and to top it all off no crazies attacked the Gem Cities. Over all, Wally was whistling dixie.

Unfortunately, the Titans found a way to mess it up.

He was on his way to take the trash out before grabbing some shut eye when he noticed a suspicious rustling in the oak tree outside his bedroom window. Electing to slowly investigate the matter, Wally walked out to the back porch at an average pace.

"Hey, assbutt!" Wally invited. "Show yourself!"

After shouting a friendly hello to his visitor, Wally was suddenly and rudely yanked upward into said tree by a pair of surprisingly small but strong arms.

Needless to say, Wally was befuddled by the faces which met him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. "Not that I'm not happy to see you or anything, but it's Dick's birthday. Why aren't you at home? And also, why are there three of you?"

"That's actually why we came," Tim said. They were all in costume, but Wally knew these guys as well as he knew his own family. Even better, it had seemed like lately.

But back to the matter at hand. Where Wally had previously been concerned that his wonderful day was about to hit an obstacle, he was now only worried about Dick's birthday. What could have happened?

"What is it?" Wally asked.

"We're not actually sure what's going on yet," Tim started, but Jason cut him off.

"But everyone at the party froze. Not froze-froze, but paused."

"What the hell?" Wally asked. "Who was it? How? Also, why didn't you just call?"

"Joker, we were hoping you could tell us, and whatever he used also knocked out our power." Damien supplied. "Our cell batteries are outsourced to the backup generators so that we never run out of power, but it backfires in situations such as these. Father should really think of a better system."

"How do you not know what happened?" Wally asked. "You're all detectives and scientists, right?"

Tim looked down sheepishly and the other two averted their eyes. "The Computer does most of that."

"What about Alfred?" Wally asked.

"Frozen," the Robins supplied.

"Barbara?"

"Frozen."

"Her dad?"

"Frozen."

"What's his name, the Wayne Tech guy? Lucius Fox?"

"Frozen."

Wally groaned loudly and rolled his eyes back in his head. "So you're telling me that literally all of your resources are fried and gone."

"That's why we're here," Tim said.

Wally sat back and let himself examine the situation at his speed. The guys were obviously desperate. He felt bad that they were in the situation at all. Mostly, though, he was freaking out about what to do for Dick. What if his brain was still working even though his body was frozen? Wally needed to help them out, and fast. Thankfully, science and speed were his specialties.

"Cool," Wally said. "Just let me check my computer real quick and let my mom know I have a mission."

\-----

"So what you're saying is..."

"We need to make a stop." Wally finished. He had let the boys in through the window after checking his computer and finding that his assumptions were correct.

"Say," Wally asked, "how did you guys get here, anyway?"

"None of your business," Damien replied whilst crossing his tiny arms.

Wally looked to Tim, but he just shrugged. "Sorry, man. Top secret."

Wally turned away. "Whatever. Look, I have an idea on how this could work, but I need to get to Bludhaven to check Dick and Kori's apartment first. Kori might actually be able to help us out if I'm right..."

"So what you're saying is," Jason said, "we need to break into Grayson's place."

Wally took a step back once he saw Jason's grin. "Uh, no. Dude. I have a key. Don't you?"

The three looked around again and purposely avoided eye contact.

"Technically," Tim said, ignoring Damien's attempts to shut him up, "we did have one. But Shorty McTemper over there threw it in a river."

"I wasn't about to extend friendship to that traitor!" Damien said, stoping his foot.

"All he did was leave Gotham," Tim replied calmly.

"Exactly!" Wally felt like now was a good time to get them back on track.

"Okay, so I can't carry all of you back to the coast. I could do Damien, Tim tops but definitely not together and definitely not Jason. No offense, man, you look great."

"We don't need to to carry us," Jason replied flippantly. "We have our own way, remember?"

Wally flashed into his closet, put his suit on, and came back. "Right, well it might--"

But they were gone.

Wally huffed. "Fine. Guess I'll meet you there."

\-----

"Okay," Wally said once he arrived at Dick's apartment, "how did you do that?"

"We told you, Kid Flailure," Damien replied, "family secret." The Robins were already at the building when Wally arrived, and it was kind of freaking him out.

"Right," Wally said. "Well, we can go in quietly and try not to wake Kori, but I'm warning you if she wakes up while we're snooping and sees you before me, you're gonna wanna tell her who you are as quickly as possible."

"Pfft," Jason said. "She can't scare us. We live with Batman."

Wally and Tim exchanged a glance. "You haven't met Kori."

Surprisingly enough, the boys didn't die immediately. Wally was digging through drawers all over the place, except the bedroom, looking for something he would only describe as a "thingy." In fact, Wally had almost found it when Damien forgot himself.

"How much longer is this going to take?" The boy moaned. The older three stared at him, mortified, but Damien failed to notice as a looming female figure appeared in the doorway behind him. "Father and Grayson aren't going to--"

"Excuse me," the woman said. Damien would never admit to jumping in fear, "but who are you and what do think you're doing in my apartment?"

"Relax, Koriand'r, it's us!" Wally yelled, stepping into the moonlight so the alien girl could see him better.

"W--Kid Flash?" Koriand'r asked, obviously very confused.

"Wally brought us here to help your boyfriend," Tim explained.

Kori rounded on him and pinned him to the nearest wall. The other Robins immediately fell into attack positions, but Wally waved them down.

"What has happened to my darling?" Koriand'r raged.

"Let him down, Kori, and we'll explain," Wally attempted to calm her, and succeeded in freeing Tim from her grasp. "These are... Well, these are the other Robins."

"What?" Koriand'r asked. She looked genuinely confused.

"You've met Bruce, right?" Wally asked in turn. "And Alfred?" Kori nodded. "Well, the little one over there is Damien, Bruce's biological son. Jason is the runt, and Tim there is the second best Robin I've ever met." Each of Wally's descriptions was met with protest, but not too much as they knew they couldn't get far if they didn't explain soon.

"I..." Koriand'r said, then she turned to Tim. "Many apologies. You are in costume, I did not realize you were Dick's brothers. Now, I would still like to understand what has happened to my beloved, if you do not find my questions rude."

Tim explained the situation, and Wally discovered his missing "thingy" in the last drawer he checked.

"What is that thing, West?" Damien snuck over to Wally while Tim explained and was trying to take and examine what Wally had found.

"It's a magical detector. For magic."

"Why do we need it?"

"Because I said so. The Doctor is out right now, and if we don't have Fate, even Zatana can't help us with this."

"Wally?" Koriand'r asked, stealing the speedster's attention.

"Yeah, Kori?"

"I would like to accompany you in your quest," the Tamaranean replied. "Dick and the Titans are my family. I do not wish to see any of you hurt, and I would like to help Dick in any way I can."

"No offense, sister," Jason interrupted, "but what can you do?"

Koriand'r rose to get full height and glared down at Jason. "Do not question my commitment or power, boy. I was ripped from my loving family on Tamaran when I was only eight and traded into slavery. I landed on Earth and found happiness, but it was not permitted to last. My sister tracked me down and fought me. She claimed that I was belittling my birthright as Second Princess of Tamaran. Komand'r kidnapped me, and only recently was I able to reunite with my beloved. Do not question my fury nor my determination, petty child, or I will show you the power of my starbolts and we shall see who is laughing."


	3. Chapter 3

The next stop on the crazy train was New York. Wally had called Zatanna to see if she was home, but her message said she was helping some "moronic excuse for a magical hunter" so Wally went for the next best thing. An Amazon.

Donna lived with her husband Terry in an apartment in New York City. She worked at her own photography studio and was trying to conceive.

She was also the most powerful member of the original Teen Titans.

"Donna and I used to be roommates," Koriand'r explained as the group approached the front door of the apartment. "If she is not home, I shall use my extra key."

Kori unlocked the door for their group and stood aside while Wally rifled through Donna's meager library. The Robins were terribly confused, but not confused enough to actually ask about what was going on. Fortunately, Tim forgot himself momentarily.

"Do you hear that?" He asked the group, shuffling around the room to try and determine the source of the noise.

"Hear what?" Jason asked.

"It sounds like... Running water." Everyone looked at Tim.

"I don't hear anythi--" Damien was suddenly cut off by a swift punch and a kick. Jason was out cold before Tim could even realize what had hit him.

Wally wooshed over and grabbed Tim's attacker from behind. Then he sighed and fought her down.

"Why does this happen every freaking time I visit? It's me, D. These are friends and kids you just took out."

The woman on the ground looked confused for a second or two before her eyes focused on Wally and Kori in the background. She grinned and Wally helped her up before she hugged both of them.

"Kori! Wally! Great Hera, it's been months! How are you, really? What's going on?" Similar to the situation with Kori, Donna turned soft as soon as she recognized the intruders.

"Well," Wally started, "first of all, let me introduce some folks." He and the other two conscious heroes explained the situation to Donna. Once Wally made it to why they needed her help, Damien and Jason had woken up and were sitting on her couch. Just in time, too, because this was where it got interesting.

"I have a theory," Wally explained, "but I can't be sure until we get back to Wayne Manor and take some samples. See, I think this had something to do with a kind of flash-bomb hypnosis."

"That doesn't sound like the Joker," Tim pointed out.

Wally stood and began pacing the room. "Exactly, and that's what has me so worried. Joker may have masterminded this whole thing, but this technology stinks of either Tetch or... Well, to be perfectly honest I can't figure it out."

"I thought you said this was magic." Damien pouted.

"I know I did, but you guys don't really fight any magicians. If it were me I'd say Abracadabra, hands down. Maybe even Trickster or Pied Piper. Unfortunately, I'm not very familiar with current magicians other than Dr. Fate and Zatanna. The only other one I could think of was Circe, but this isn't her style at all. She's more into transfiguration. That's why we're here."

Wally turned to Donna. "We're in way over our heads here with this magical shit, Princess. If there's any gods you can connect to this, it'd be real helpful."

Donna sat there, silent and in thought while she racked her brain. Wally was just freaking out. He had really been understating it when he said he didn't know many magicians. Wally didn't even believe in magic. The closest he ever got was Abra, and he just uses a sad little staff like Weather Wizard. There isn't any real magic involved.

Donna stood up and grabbed Wally's shoulders. "Wally, I don't think I can help. Hypnos is the god of sleep, of course, and Hermes might play a trick like this, but they have no reason to get involved with Dick. You said it yourself, Gotham doesn't deal in magic."

Wally slouched. He should have known this was a long shot.

"But," the princess continued, making Wally stand straight again in hopefulness, "I'm going to come with you to Gotham and examine whatever samples you got. I can bring my camera, too."

Wally was hugging her before she even finished. Almost immediately, all three Robins were hugging her, too. They were more worried about their "brother" than they cared to admit, and this was the comfort they needed.

"Thanks, D. Now will someone call Greenie and Vic? Even if we don't need them, they should know what's up."


	4. Chapter 4

"Isn't it wonderful, Harls?" The Joker spun in his office chair, arms open wide.

Harley nodded earnestly. "Sure is, Mistah J. Who would have thought getting Bruce Wayne and son as a hostage would be this easy?"

"It's a damn good thing we found Tetch's old stash, or we would have been caught before Moe here made it in the door!" Joker gestured to a passing henchclown (complete with bowl cut) as he spoke, grinning his usual grin.

"That's right, boss," Moe agreed.

"Mister Joker, sir?" Another henchclown asked, this one with large curly hair, his bald friend staring at his shoes. "Where is it that you wanted us to put the lounge furniture?"

"I told you twelve times, you simpletons!" Joker stood and threw a priceless bust at their heads. "Put the couches in truck seven!"

"Yes, sir," the curly haired henchclown whimpered as the two of them left.

"Morons," Joker grumbled. "Honestly, who's a guy gotta kill to get good help these days?"

"They just don't make 'em like they used to," Harley agreed, shaking her head.

"And when the hell is the Bat going to get here?!?" Joker continued, as if he didn't hear her. "I mean come on already! What's it take to get a guy interested these days..."

"Crap," Tim whispered from the rafters. "I knew we shouldn't have left the house. All it did was give them what they wanted..."

"Relax, kiddo," Wally said, slapping Tim on the back. "I would've done the same thing. Besides, Daddybats can buy you new furniture!"

"Will you shut up?" Jason grumbled over the comms. "What's our plan here?"

"I think we should start with my idea from earlier," Donna's clear voice cut into their ears from down in the Batcave. "I guess Vic and I can make our way up to the main ballroom, and I think Tim and the boys should make the initial--"

"Oooh, look, Harls! We have guests!" The Joker was gesturing directly up to Wally and Tim's position, and apparently had a goon operating a spotlight as well.

Tim wasn't fazed. "We have you surrounded, Joker! Call your trucks back and return Mr Wayne's things!"

"Or what?" The Joker gave a short laugh before continuing. "You'll beat me up? Please! You and Kid Obvious over there couldn't stop me if I had my hands tied and my head in a goldfish bowl! Honestly, kids these days..."

"You got that right, Mistah J!" Harley chimed in. "These kids could never take you down"

Wally sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. "This is just sad. I mean seriously, Red Robin, people always underestimate us. What is up with that?"

"In fact," said Koriand'r as she walked through the front doors of the ballroom, "I think this puny clown would do well to tremble in fear."

As the two spoke, all of the heroes in attendance dropped down from their various perches and boxed in the Joker and Harley Quinn.

Joker laughed nervously. "I don't have time for this. Larry, Curly, finish loading the last truck! Harley, would you be a good little psychopath and fight the kids?"

"Well gee, Mistah J, I don't know if I'd call them kids," Harley said as she hoisted her hammer. "I mean look at the gajoongas on the orange girl over there!"

"Oh, just, hit them already!" Joker replied.

And so started one of the greatest super battles in history. Obviously poor Harley never stood a chance against the likes of Kid Flash, Starfire, Wonder Girl and Cyborg, let alone Changeling and three Robins, so the fight lasted little more than three seconds. As the great female clown fell, Changeling turned into a rhino and knocked out Moe, Wonder Girl lassoed Curly, and Cyborg only had to stand in front of Larry to get him to surrender. Tim jumped up and tackled Joker, who burst into a fit of laughter and fear.

"Fix the socialites," Damien started.

"Or we'll fix you," Jason finished.

Joker grumbled from his position on the floor. "Party poppers. There'll be no ice cream for you tonight."

He pulled a button out of his jacket and pressed it, immediately bringing the party guests back to life. Wally and Kori went around to check on the Batfriends as well as Dick and Bruce themselves. The commissioner called Bullock and took statements from the Titans and the Robins, and Barbara gave them all very grateful looks. Unfortunately, Kid Flash had to slip away, but one of Dick's good friends Wally West was able to make it to the party instead.

In short, no one died, the Joker was subdued, Jervis Tetch's equipment was put back in its proper storage locker at the police station, and three standoffish little sons of Bruce's learned a little lesson about cooperation.


End file.
